This story mentions GLP-1 drugs, which are FDA-approved for weight management in adults diagnosed with obesity or with overweight and at least one weight-related health condition. For your safety, only take medication that has been prescribed to you by a licensed health care professional and dispensed by a state-licensed pharmacy.

Jenny* was at a bar when she ran into a former colleague she hadn’t seen in two years. The women began catching up about their new jobs and relationships when her colleague suddenly asked Jenny—who lost a substantial amount of weight—if she was taking Ozempic.

“I was like, that’s bold. I mean, I had been taking it but I wasn’t planning on telling anyone,” Jenny tells SELF. She ultimately told her coworker the truth, but the interaction didn’t sit well with her. “It just felt intrusive,” says Jenny, “and then I got in my head and was worried she was judging me.”

Jenny isn’t an anomaly. On Reddit, there are entire forums in which people share advice for how to respond when someone asks if you’re on a GLP-1—drugs, including semaglutide (Wegovy and Ozempic) and tirzepatide (Mounjaro and Zepbound), that can help manage type 2 diabetes and obesity. And like Jenny, many find the question weird, uncomfortable, and downright inappropriate.

Asking people if they’re on a GLP-1 places unwanted attention on their body, invites discussion about their previous weight, and can pressure them to open up about private health issues they may not be ready to talk about, Debra Safer, MD, a psychiatrist and co-director of the Adult Eating and Weight Disorders Program at Stanford Medicine, tells SELF. “It’s a very rude question to ask,” Dr. Safer says. And yet in the past couple of years, asking if someone is on a GLP-1 has become commonplace. We have one question: Why?

We live in a society that’s obsessed with body shape, size, and appearance. Body image has long been a hot topic in our culture, but in recent years, it’s become nearly impossible to avoid. You see the fixation everywhere, from wellness influencers sharing their experience with various diets to Instagram ads promoting weight-loss supplements and tabloids ripping apart celebrities for gaining or losing weight. These messages create unrealistic and unhealthy ideas about what our bodies should look like and train us to evaluate other people’s bodies and compare our own to them, says Dr. Safer.

Because we live in a society that reveres thinness, people may have forgotten that implying someone lost weight or looks smaller is not a compliment (and therefore up for discussion) but is, simply put, still nobody’s business.

This became all the more complicated when GLP-1s were added to the equation. Suddenly it seemed like people all over were losing weight. Many thought we had made some strides towards body acceptance and inclusivity—but with a seemingly quick fix like GLP-1s newly available, anyone who was ready, willing, and able could hop on board the thinspo train again—and fast.

“People now often discuss GLP-1 drugs as if they were consumer or beauty products—‘Have you tried it? Does it work for you?’—rather than treatments for a medical condition,” Jessica Borelli, PhD, a professor of psychology at University of California, Irvine, tells SELF. As Dr. Safer says, you wouldn’t ask someone with diabetes if and why they take insulin—so why do we do it with body weight and weight-loss medications?

Another reason to not pry? People may be quietly struggling with a health condition—like an autoimmune issue, or depression—that’s causing them to lose weight, whether they’re on a GLP-1 or not. “Commenting on someone’s weight can draw attention to what may be a private medical matter and may evoke shame or discomfort,” Dr. Borelli says, ultimately pressuring people to lie or reveal things about their health they don’t necessarily want to, adds Dr. Safer.

Alex* was recently at work when a colleague told her she looked “so thin” before asking if she took Ozempic. Alex was shocked this person felt so comfortable asking such a personal question. “I was like, ‘Wow, so we’re just asking people this now?’”

Alex had a baby a year ago and says she is noticeably thinner than she was pre-pregnancy—but not because of a GLP-1 or exercise regimen. Postpartum, she felt physically worse for the wear and has since been overwhelmed navigating this new phase of life. She didn’t interpret the question as a compliment. She ended up telling her colleague the truth—that her sky-high stress levels caused her to lose weight and muscle—but she felt weird about the whole conversation. “I had been going through so much,” Alex says. “You just never know what people are going through.”

Emily*, a mom of two in Michigan, has been on Ozempic for a year but has only told a couple close friends. Her family openly criticizes people who take GLP-1s, framing it as if they’re lazy or less than. “When I dropped my first 10 pounds, the praise began of how good I looked because I lost weight. I know if they knew how I lost the weight they would see it as cheating,” Emily tells SELF. They often say things like, “What’s stopping them from losing weight the old-fashioned way—through diet and exercise?” and “Why don’t they just workout more?”

This is especially triggering for Emily, who once struggled with an eating disorder. In fact, that’s exactly why she turned to a GLP-1 in the first place. “I chose to take the medication to lose my baby weight instead of putting myself in a position to relapse and start counting calories again," she says. So, Emily keeps it to herself out of fear they’d judge her for being on the drug.

Individuals in larger bodies have long been unfairly judged for “not having the willpower to be thin,” says Dr. Safer. They hear compliments when they lose weight and crickets (or criticism) when they gain it back. This stigma is, to be blunt, bullshit, seeing as obesity is a metabolic disease caused by a mix of biological, behavioral, and genetic factors, and not by a shortcoming or lack of willpower.

People who take GLP-1s are often stigmatized as “taking the easy way out,” research shows. “If you gain weight, everybody speculates on why you're so heavy and then when you lose weight, everyone says you shouldn’t have lost it that way,” Dr. Safer says. It’s a lose-lose.

It’s normal to notice other people’s weight loss. We have been conditioned to do so. But that still doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to comment on someone’s weight loss—just as you wouldn’t ask someone if they’re pregnant. Why? Because no matter what the answer is, it’s none of your business.

Take the pregnancy metaphor: If someone is not pregnant, the question can bring unwanted attention to their body shape or size. If they’ve experienced loss or fertility issues, it can serve as a painful reminder that they’ve been unable to start a family. Even if they are pregnant, they may not want to share it, or feel uncomfortable in their skin. The same goes for any other changing body.

As for whether there’s ever a situation in which it’s okay to ask someone if they’re taking a GLP-1? The truth: no. In most situations, inquiring only puts someone in an awkward position. A more respectful approach is to let others decide if and when to share information about their weight. As Dr. Safer says, “it’s not a nice question—and there’s really no way to make it nice.”

Names marked with an asterisk (*) have been changed to protect individuals’ privacy and anonymity.

At SELF, our job is to present you—our reader—with science-backed information that you can use to guide the decisions you make about your body and health, which may or may not involve weight.

While research suggests having a higher weight may increase your risk for certain conditions, people can be healthy at every size. The categorizations of obesity and overweight can contribute to weight stigma, and they are often based on body mass index (BMI), which is not an accurate measure of health. For some people, pursuing weight loss can be harmful, for instance by leading to weight cycling or increasing the risk of developing an eating disorder; for others, it may be helpful for addressing health concerns or simply having an easier time existing in a world with rampant anti-fat bias. These conversations require nuance, and we hope to provide it. Before taking any medication or making decisions about your health, talk to your doctor or a health care professional.