Odds are, you’ve had to deal with people who really get on your nerves or hurt your feelings. Experiencing rudeness on a regular basis can breed anger and resentment — and the tricky part is, you can experience it everywhere, from the office to a family dinner to a night out with your friends. A colleague might snap at you in a meeting, a friend could make an off-color comment that rubs you the wrong way, or a stranger might make a snide remark under their breath that bugs you. No matter who dishes it out or where you receive it, rudeness can sting.
If you’re more prone to sensitivity or ruminating, you may replay these interactions on a loop in the following days, asking yourself what went wrong or how you could’ve handled it better. Maybe you even find yourself getting mad days later, wishing you had snapped right then and there.
It’s important to remember that most rude behavior has very little to do with you and is often a reflection of the other person’s stress, insecurity, or emotional immaturity. While it can still get under your skin, there are ways to process other people’s rudeness without flying off the rails. Here’s everything you need to know about rude people and how to protect your peace and respond calmly.
Rude behavior often has more to do with what someone else is carrying emotionally than anything you’ve said or done. That eye roll, that sharp tone, that cutting comment is usually a spillover from whatever is going on internally for them. Maybe they’re stressed. Maybe they’re burned out. Maybe they’re replaying their own shame or insecurity over and over again in their mind, and it feels good to take it out on someone else. Or maybe they never learned a better way to express themselves.
None of these reasons excuses being disrespectful, but it does shift the emotional weight off your shoulders back onto theirs, where it belongs. You’re not responsible for someone else’s emotional regulation or lack thereof. And their behavior isn’t a reflection on you or your responsibility.
Understanding this doesn’t make the sting of being disrespected go away immediately, but it may give you some room to process it. You might even discover that seeing the hurt beneath someone’s harshness gives you a little more compassion for them, or, at the very least, permission to not take it so personally.
Dealing with rudeness doesn’t mean you have to swallow your feelings or have a clever comeback ready. It’s about staying rooted in your own values, even when someone else clearly isn’t. Here are 10 mindful, real-world ways to respond with calm, clarity, and self-respect.
That micro-moment between someone being rude and your reaction is where your power lives. Take a slow, deep breath and unclench your jaw. This pause helps you choose how you want to respond, rather than letting their mood hijack yours.
Try this: Before speaking, silently count to three. You don’t have a responsibility to quickly fill the silence, but you do have a responsibility to respond according to your values.
Meeting rudeness with more rudeness rarely ends well. Instead of mirroring their energy, keep your tone calm and your language simple. Kindness can be disarming.
Try saying this:
If you need to address the rudeness directly, focus on the behavior. This helps avoid defensiveness and keeps the conversation constructive. It’s also a way to clearly state how the situation is making you feel without directly poking at the other person’s personality. Pro tip: This can also be effective in the workplace.
Try this:
Not that:
These statements help you speak up for yourself without escalating the situation. They’re also a way to be honest while maintaining your boundaries and staying connected to your thoughts.
Try saying this:
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Sometimes, kindness is the most powerful response, especially if you sense their rudeness stems from stress or pain. When it feels safe, lightly suggest taking some time apart and coming back to the conversation. You might even ask them directly if something is impacting their behavior.
Try saying this:
Boundaries aren’t walls that ruin your connection with someone else — they’re purposeful guidelines that can actually help relationships grow. When you set boundaries with people, you can choose when and how to step away from interactions that feel harmful or depleting.
Try saying this:
Trying to outwit or one-up someone who’s being rude often drags you down to their level. It’s okay to let them “win” the moment if it means you get to keep your energy (and sanity) intact. Before engaging further, simply ask yourself if it’s worth it.
You don’t always owe someone a response or even a conversation, and you certainly don’t need to justify walking away from someone who’s being disrespectful. Sometimes the best response is saying no or having no response at all.
Try saying this:
After the moment has passed, talk it out with someone you trust. Having a safe space to vent can help you process what happened and release it, rather than holding it in your body. Allow another person to validate your experience as well, which can also help you navigate the situation with greater ease and grace.
Ask a trusted friend this:
Your nervous system is wired to react to perceived threats, including sharp words and condescending tones. You can help shift your body out of fight-or-flight mode and into a more regulated state through breathing techniques.
Try inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six counts. Repeat this 3–5 times.
Even if you kept your cool, set a boundary, and didn’t react to someone’s rudeness, it’s normal to feel off after this type of interaction. That energy can linger in your body and impact your mood for some time — but these self-care tips can help you reset.
When you hold onto social stress, your whole body can become tense. Stretching, exercise, and even grounding may help release the tension and allow you to feel more at ease.
Try this:
💙 Tune into The Daily Move with Mel Mah for a mindful movement routine to practice each day to stay well.
Naming your experience can help you process what happened. You can either share your experience with someone you trust or simply write it down. Even if you’re just saying it out loud to yourself, naming it gives it somewhere to go.
Try saying this:
If you’re someone who tends to replay interactions in your mind or overanalyze what you said or did, this tip will be especially helpful in moving past someone’s rude behavior. Remind yourself that their behavior is a reflection on them and not you.
Try these reminders:
Being on the receiving end of someone’s rudeness can leave you feeling unsettled and confused. Breathwork may help you re-regulate your nervous system as you continue to process your feelings.
Try this breath reset:
💙 Relieve stress quickly with SOS Breath Work, a guided breathing exercise led by Chibs Okereke.
It’s not your responsibility to mend the relationship dynamic, follow up with the person who hurt you, or make things smoother for the other person’s sake, especially if they haven’t taken responsibility for their behavior.
Instead of focusing on someone else, ask yourself what you need. A little self-care can go a long way.
Related read: What is acceptance? Plus, 9 tips to help you learn to let go
Rude interactions can make you question your worth and how people view you. Spending time with people who bring you back to your center can help you remember who you are.
Try this:
After a tough interaction, you might feel a little disoriented or disconnected from your body. Engaging in small grounding rituals can help you come back to yourself and restore your peace.
Try these ideas:
Chronic rudeness is often a reflection of someone’s inner world. People who are constantly rude may be living with unaddressed stress, poor emotional regulation, burnout, low self-esteem, or even learned behavior. Sometimes it’s a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability or connection, and other times, they simply don’t realize how their tone or behavior affects others.
While you can hold compassion for what someone might be going through, you’re also allowed to protect yourself from people who consistently cross the line.
It’s hard not to internalize rudeness, especially if you’re someone who tends to overthink or feel deeply. But someone else’s behavior is a mirror of them, not you. Their sharp tone or dismissiveness likely existed long before you walked into the room.
You can be both direct and kind to a rude person but still get your point across. The key is to keep your language simple and your tone steady.
Here are a few phrases that can help:
Absolutely. Because your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a rude comment and a real threat, it reacts in real time by tightening your muscles, shortening your breath, and raising your heart rate. Breathwork helps signal safety back to your body, even if the situation is emotionally charged and not a physical one.
Yes. You don’t owe anyone your presence, especially if the interaction feels harmful, disrespectful, or unsafe. Walking away isn’t weak or rude — it’s a form of self-protection. If you’re in a public setting or a workplace, a quiet, steady exit can sometimes speak louder than anything you could say.
If it feels helpful, you can pair it with a short statement like:
Related read: How to speak up for yourself (and why it’s important)
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