Social media has long been rife with misinformation about birth control, much of it slamming hormonal contraceptives for health harms (like infertility or even abortion) that it does not cause or whipping up alarm around side effects that only apply for some users. But another subset of these posts, which is growing as of late, decries dangers of a different flavor, suggesting that hormonal birth control isn’t just bad for your health; it can change the type of person whom you’re attracted to, and ostensibly, for the worse. Take the pill, the posts say, and you’ll date someone less hot—specifically, a man lacking in testosterone—than if you let your hormones run their natural course, and you won’t even know you’re doing it.
Mainly promoted by male influencers who apparently have a bone to pick with birth-control-using women, this claim rests on several overtly problematic assumptions, say, that all women would be best off with hypermasculine men and that attraction hinges only on appearance. But like most myths that blow up on the internet, this one also has roots in a believable kernel: Hormones can play a role in sex and desire, so couldn’t messing around with them throw your love life for a loop? It’s easy to see how this line of thinking could become a slippery slope, leading to claims that the pill ruins your choice of partner.
The actual science, however, doesn’t support such a conclusion, even if you took for granted the broad generalizations about sexuality and attraction that underscore it. Below, board-certified ob-gyn Karen Tang, MD, founder of Thrive Gynecology in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, and author of It’s Not Hysteria, unpacks the birth control-attraction myth and why its prevalence on social media isn’t just unhelpful to women but actively harmful.
As Dr. Tang notes, the influencers touting this claim often reference a couple small studies, which have involved asking various women who do or don’t use hormonal birth control to look at images or videos of men, some of whom have more stereotypically masculine features (like a strong jawbone), and rate their desire. One found that starting on the pill seemed to decrease how attracted women were to macho-looking faces. Another found that stopping the pill made women relatively more likely than their birth-control-using peers to express desire for classically attractive men in brief videos. Dr. Tang clarifies, however, that none of this research was conducted by medical doctors or in a real-life setting; instead, it was done by psychologists exploring subjective measures in hypothetical scenarios.
The premise of these studies comes from a particular evolutionary theory of attraction—that women have evolved to prefer certain masculine features, like being super muscular, that come from high testosterone levels, particularly when they’re fertile (a.k.a. when a surge of estrogen triggers ovulation). Why? Having loads of testosterone is thought to signal genetic fitness in men, or essentially, reflect an optimal person for a woman to have a child with. So, researchers hypothesized that by taking away women’s fertile window, hormonal birth control might make them less heart-eyed over masculine, genetically “ideal” partners.
The big problem: No studies with any substantial number of people have proven this theory to pan out in modern-day life, Dr. Tang says. In fact, larger studies have found zero evidence that hormonal contraceptives dampen women’s interest in masculine men, and no proof that women’s preferences for masculinity even shift with their cycles. And perhaps more importantly, research has shown no effect of stopping or starting birth control on relationship quality—suggesting no change in how attracted you’d be to a partner before versus after.
What some research has shown is that the hormonal changes of your cycle, and in turn, hormonal birth control, might influence your libido more generally, Dr. Tang notes. Some people feel more easily aroused, or into having sex, around ovulation, when the body is primed to conceive, she says, and less so in the luteal phase, or around their period. So it’s possible that blocking out some of these signals via hormonal birth control might affect your sex drive, she says. But that’s a very different outcome, she clarifies, than birth control determining whom you’re attracted to, and further, causing you to choose a worse partner.
According to Dr. Tang, it’s not surprising that birth control hasn’t been shown to influence attraction in large studies or real-world settings. After all, people are not just bundles of genes and hormones; and a singular theory about how we’ve evolved to procreate cannot explain the whole of our partner choices. Consider how much goes into attraction alone, Dr. Tang points out. For example, “you might have the experience of finding someone attractive, and then they open their mouth, and you want nothing to do with them,” she says. And of course, physical desire cannot simply boil down to “who is genetically optimal to procreate with” when plenty of women are not attracted to men at all, and are attracted to other women.
At the same time, having masculine features alone does not guarantee a man is genetically fit or healthy; plenty of other biological and environmental factors might give someone a stereotypically manlier vibe. And even if we were to take the leap that a masculine look is an indicator of good genes, that’s far from the only or even primary reason to be with someone, nor does it have any bearing on whether you’ll be compatible with them.
Long-term relationship success depends on so much more than “How do you feel about this person’s jawline?” or even “Would they be genetically best to have a kid with?” Dr. Tang points out. These considerations don’t even account for, well, their entire personality, or major factors like whether they’re kind, or share your values or sense of humor. In turn, you could be unhappy in a relationship with someone who’s your optimal genetic match, or satisfied with someone who’s theoretically less of a “genetic” fit (say, a more feminine-looking guy or a woman), at least by evolutionary standards. (Putting appearance in context of societal norms might even suggest women should avoid masculine men, or even men outright, in the search for a partner—they don’t have the best track record.)
It’s hard to ignore the misogyny that underlies this rhetoric—that women, through their decision to use birth control and take agency over when they get pregnant, render themselves incapable of choosing an attractive partner. “The implication in some of these videos is that birth control is going to take over your mind and make you pick the wrong person,” Dr. Tang says. Not only does this suggest women can be reduced to mere vessels for hormonal influences; it might scare people away from hormonal birth control “who may otherwise want to use it, or for whom it may be the best choice individually,” she adds.
That’s not to say hormonal contraceptives are ideal for everyone; there are a handful of risks and potential side effects, like mood symptoms and, yes, lower libido, Dr. Tang says. But these are worlds apart from the frightening suggestion that it can make you interested in an entirely different kind of person. And there are also very real risks to not using birth control, the most obvious one being unintended pregnancy, not to mention all the non-contraceptive reasons people might go on the pill, like heavy periods or severe PMS. Hence why myths about alleged consequences of birth control can lead to a lot of needless suffering.
Anti-birth-control rhetoric also tends to have an agenda, Dr. Tang cautions. After all, making you distrust a well-established medical practice could turn you into an easier target for an influencer’s product, be it a course or supplement, she says. It also serves the openly “pronatalist” motivations of an administration pushing women to have more kids.
There’s certainly nothing wrong with avoiding birth control, taking a non-hormonal approach to it, or having a large family. What’s important, Dr. Tang says, is that you have all the accurate information—and aren’t subjected to baseless myths—so that you can make the best choice for you, whether that’s to use hormonal contraceptives or not.
